GOD, SEX, SEXUALITY…

What Is God's Plan for Sex? 

The first time I heard about sex, I was a primary school kid with water bottle, food flask on my neck and fluids across my nose. I was young, but focused, listening to someone I considered a wise and eminent sage - a fifth grader. With a know-it-all attitude, he told me about sex. I responded compellingly to his claims: "My parents never thought me that!"

Of course, as time went by my innocent eyes were pried open by TV sitcoms and movies, I was too young to see (but saw anyway). I even remember seeing magazines and many publications. The inadequately clothed ladies and their photos. One even signed her photo, "Remember room 101." Who signs autographs suggesting they have shared a hotel room? I was a Ten-year-old! You should've seen my uncle squirm when I asked, "What does room 101 mean?"

A few years too late my uncle sat me down for "the talk" and that was it. My education on one of the most complex, dangerous, and wonderful subjects of the human experience consisted of a big kid in the neighbourhood, a few episodes of Hint Magazine, pictures of inadequately-clothed ladies, and "the talk." There was no mention of waiting, true intimacy, possible pitfalls, or God Himself.

I remember thinking, "There's got to be more!" Even at a young age, I realized I hadn't been adequately prepared for love and sex. I just didn't know where to look for the knowledge I craved.

The Bible has a ton to say about sex and sexuality. Numerous verses and whole sections of Scripture reference those topics - including Song of Songs, an entire book focused on sexual experiences, expressions, and emotions. That much content can be overwhelming. So, we're going to focus primarily on one section of Scripture from the apostle Paul.

"Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you His Holy Spirit" (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8).

Take a closer look at the beginning of verse 3: "For this is God's will". I can't overemphasize how important those words are. The apostle Paul wrote this entire passage of Scripture, but these aren't "just" his opinions. There's more going on.

What we find here isn't good advice or the latest claim from a self-help manual. Rather, these verses contain "God's will" for sex and sexuality. They are commands that came directly from "the Lord Jesus" (v. 2). They carry His authority. They aren't the opinions of the kid down the street but of God in His holiness, love, and power. That's great news! That's a wonderful reality!

God thought up sex. He has a drive for sex. He has a design for sexual orientation. Those things didn't spin out from creation by mistake or cosmic accident. God purposefully designed us as sexual beings. He has a distinct purpose - and He didn't cling to that purpose to Himself. He told us about it in His Word. In other words, we don't have to figure things out on our own. Thank goodness (and thank God).

Of course, just because the Bible contains God's will about a topic doesn't mean we always follow it.

Even as Christians, there are times when our illiteracy or noncompliance leads us to figure things out on our own, or we put our faith in setting up systems based on prevention - on building fences. But even properly hedged sheep still need a shepherd to lead them toward greener pastures. The hedges are important, but they're incomplete.

As a result, there have been some mixed messages from God's people regarding His will for sex and sexuality. There have been churches and individual Christians who, from time to time, contribute to the discussion in a way that cause confusion rather than clarity.

For example, conversations within the church about sex and sexuality have, at times, become focused on the avoidance of consequences. As I've said, well-meaning people, pastors, and parents often use "don't" as a primary theme when they talk about sex. Don't have sex before marriage because you'll get pregnant. Don't have sex before marriage because you'll get a disease. Don't have sex before marriage because you'll develop a bad reputation.

Such a message is all about avoiding consequences instead of honoring God. As a result, many people have come to believe that if they can avoid the consequences connected with sexual activities, their actions really aren't that bad. People have grown up with the idea that birth control will take care of everything - that they should follow their urges as long as they can do so without other people finding out.

That's not what God intended. The goal of the gospel is not to manage our sin, but to defeat it and to find life. Jesus' death on the cross calls us to the "more" of abundant life - not just keeping consequences at bay. Instead of don't, our conversations about sex and sexuality should be framed by do. Do honour the Lord. Do walk in purity. Do discover the best God has for you and wait until you're ready to receive it.

Let's state what we're for rather than only what we're against. God is always on offense. He doesn't need to play defense because He knows our "YES" to Him produces a "NO" to sin.

“We live in a society where sex is everything and sex is nothing.”